When I facilitated any type of communication class, or conflict management class – TO TEENAGERS – I would always let them know that it’s “Fun Question Time!” So, readers – It’s Fun Question Time! Really spend some time on these answers.
How do you govern yourself?
To what standards do you hold yourself?
Do you hold yourself liable for everything you do?
Are you aware that you are responsible for your own…everything?
Are you an integral person?
The reason I ask these questions is because I think that these need to be answered every once in a while so that we can grow, understand and be accountable. You are responsible for your own actions, your own thoughts, your own happiness, your own success and your own power. I cannot, nor can anyone, give you thoughts. You create them on your own. There are catalysts to them, for sure. But in the end, they are yours. I can’t give you happiness, but you can create that for yourself. I can’t give you success, but I can show you some awesome tools. And I can’t give you power. He-Man‘s ring can, but I don’t have one of those. Also, I can’t take your power. That’s yours to give up. As is happiness, success, thoughts and the like. Your integrity? I can’t give you mine. It’s mine – MINE! As is my accountability. I truly dig accountability. It’s such a fascinating and inarguable thing.
I really dislike the word blame. “It’s her fault!” or “I did this because of you!” No, you did “this” because you chose to. Be accountable. Own it. Some people really hate that “own it” thing. But by owning it, you take possession of it. Every single aspect of it. Take any action, thought, whatever – this can be applied to any situation. If you get a coffee, you chose to get that coffee. If you break your word, tell someone that you’re going to do something and don’t do it, you chose to break your word. If you took a leap of faith and it worked out in your favor, you can credit yourself for that. Own that! If your hair looks amazing (like my best friend Tina’s hair did today,) you did it. If you saved up your money so you could go back to school, be accountable for that too! Look at what you did. What YOU did. If you did something super lame, grow from that, own it. Learn from it and be accountable. Then maybe that lame thing won’t be for nothing. You can definitely grow from your mistakes. And if you have wronged someone in the process, be accountable for it. Apologize, honor their pain, empathize and learn.
How to hold others accountable – Tell them how their actions have affected you. Look them in the eye with your convictions and your facts and communicate to them the outcomes of what they did or are doing, and get that off your chest. Tell them to read this blog. If what they are doing really bothers you, look at what it is that bothers you about it, how you feel about it and what you can do about feeling that way. I’m sure that telling them may help. But you can only be accountable for yourself.
I feel like I really have to drive this home, but our own accountability is such a good thing. Especially when it makes us shine and be proud of our accomplishments and even our errors when we learn from them.
I’m gonna go play with my doggie, Chewbacca now. Cause I made this really cool toy and he loves it. Plus he’s been sitting here waiting patiently for me to finish writing my blog. Thank you all so so much for reading this.